Happy knews guys! About one week ago I got to know I have been accepted in a university of applied sciences to study about nursing. So now my main goals are:
Be a lawyer/Get my dream study place
- Write and publish a book
I´m more than happy but I want people to remember/know that this hasn´t come by an easy way.
As long as I remember I have wanted to be a lawyer (From secondary school). I had a vision: I´m going to go the university right after my graduation and show people what hard work can do. I did that but my brain couldn´t take it anymore. No matter how much I read the information just didn´t stay in my head. It was clear that my brain was “overheated” from too much reading but unfortunately I realized that too late.
So I didn´t get in, I was alone, without a studyplace and without workplace, trying to get some help for my anxiety and depression.
In difficult moments I found a lot of comfort from people who were in the same situation as me. I didn´t want to give up from my dream after just one try so I decided to try again.
The next spring I felt stronger but still, something went wrong. I remeber that crushing feeling when I read the second time from my phonescreen:”Unfortunately, you didn´t get in”. Even my friends who were one year younger than me get to study for they first try, or at least most of them. Why not me?
I was thinking do I want to try again? For the third time, which isn´t actually much when we talk about law school. There was just one problem: I coudn´t find any reason what went wrong in that second time . It couldn´t be about my workload because that was huge. Maybe law school just wasn´t a right place for me? Whatever those reasons were I knew I didn´t have anything more to give. I was too tired.
It was time to try to find new dreams.
Sociology and medical care had been on my mind before but Law school was always number one priority. Thats´s why it felt like giving up if I would suddenly try different way just because I couldn´t get in the other place. But I thought that it isn’t silly to follow your dream for ages if you really want that dream to come true. It’s silly if you’re not sure about your dream. I wasn’t anymore.
It takes great courage to try something new and interesting because you will never know if you never try. So I read some information from the internet and realized that Social and Health Care could actually be a more suitable place for me. Also, I admit that it felt scary to think about that even people younger than me got into university before so I didn’t like to wait my turn anymore. Still I’ll say in the end it doesn’t matter if it takes one or five years to get to study your dream career, especially if you will use you your free time wisely!
Well anyway, lawyers protect people and nurses heal but both of them help people in some way, and that’s what I want to do.
The first time I was probably too confident about getting in so the disappointment was big when I didn´t get in. My points from the tests were still good so I wanted to try again.
Spring was hard but rewarding. I read like a crazy for the entrance exam, working at the same time about two times a week. I got through the exam and was invited to an interview. About a month later I was back at the work when I got the results.
Two years after the high school were the worst of my life but I also want to remember them in the future because they taught me so much about surving. Life does not always go as planned but that is not the most important thing. The most important thing is that after the disappointment, you will get up.
Playlist for those who have been beaten but still want to believe. This helped me so I hope it will you too 🎶
- Shakira – Try Everything (From Zootopia)
- Demi Lovato – Confident (from Ballerina)
- Pink – Just Like Fire (From Alice Through The Looking Glass)
- Within Temptation – Iron
- Planes Ending Credits – Nothing Can Stop Me Now
- Fifth Harmony – That’s My Girl
- Havana Brown – Warrior
- Kelly Clarkson – The Sun Will Rise
- Jacquie Lee – Broken Ones
- Colbie Caillat – Try
- Digimon – “Butter-Fly” (ENGLISH version by AmaLee)
- Hans Zimmer-One Day (Pirates of the Carribean-At the world`s End)
- Is She With You? – Batman v Superman Soundtrack – Hans Zimmer & Junkie
- Little mix – Salute
- Simon Curtis – Superhero
- Sia – The Greatest Ft. Kendrick Lamar